| Friday, April 13th, 2007 |
| 3:19 am |
Foolish Love or just a
Ok I havent been posting for awhile but here I am again. There had been this "girl" that I had been talking to for a very long time online. A girl that i've had a crush on and had flirtatious long distance relationship. I had met her sometime before I had started dating Beth and after Beth and I broke up. Part of what got me through having my heartbroken by my Ex was the thought of someone who was as attractive would have had the slightest interest in me. I know that people can lie about there appearance and who they are on the net. I just wanted to believe despite some of "her" pics looking too professional. Some of them looked more personal and unprofessional though, like something you or I would take off a cheap camera or phone cam. What I had been told her first and her last name, that she lived in Singapore and she had introduced to me to some of her "friends" that I've also added to my msn. Through them I found out she used to be a chubby girl who used to have insecurites about herself. I also got pics from her childhood. Adding to the illusion. However I had remember her saying that her last name was Lee or Li, it had been slipped out it was Cheung from one of her friends. Looking at her pics there was clues such as a Sears bag in the background of her room, either they have a Sears in Singapore or she was lying to me all along. Even the style of her bedroom suggested north american and not asian. So last night I googled her name and I came up by a site with every pic she sent me and some I dont have. Her profile said she was from LA and was going to UCLa and I began to read this person's blog, the person on the site seemed like a different person to whom i had been talking to online. There was so much in this persons blog about tiher life and the context of some of the pics that it shattered the illusion that this person i had been talking to had ever been real. I feel like such an idiot now for falling for such a scam for so long. I had shared intimate thoughts and personal life to them. Opened up to someone who I had thought was my friend. Its not like we had ever been dating but I feel like my heart was broken again and my trust betrayed. I feel like I've been made a fool. I dont know why I do this to myself. Expect for love to happen between me and someone and for it to be real. I push to hard for it to happen, see something in someone that isnt there. The same thing with Beth, I had been in denial as to our relationship at the time knowing that the breakup was coming, I had always sensed it. I wanted the illusion to continue. It hard to tell I've ever really loved or that i've just been lying to myself. The same goes with any girl that i've had an interest in. Seeing flirtations where theres nothing really much to what they do. I just want to find love, I want it to be something honest between two people. No illusions or expectations. |
| Friday, January 19th, 2007 |
| 5:59 pm |
Rainy Day
Well I'm home now, which means i'm not out to the movies with her. I have to say i'm a little sad and disappointed. Work sucked today and the person who was supposed to releave me was late so I got off late. Had to rush home to deliver some groceries from my dad. Called her home to see if she still wanted to go out with me but her mom picked up and she said she was out. I dont know should i take this as a sign of giving up? |
| Thursday, January 18th, 2007 |
| 5:34 pm |
Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the dance? ( Is it a date or not?)
Ok my coworkerd seemed a bit irritated today. I hated asking again whether she still wanted to go see the movie with me tommorow, she said she wasnt in a good mood and would call me. I really hate being left in the dark. I havent had a straight answer from her yet whether its yes or no. Just a maybe, I dont know, i'll call you or you call me. I feel pushy asking over and over again but what else am I to do/? I would have liked to know yes or no so or maybe someother time so i could get ready to go out with her or move on and make other plans. |
| Tuesday, January 16th, 2007 |
| 1:25 am |
I Dont Understand Girls( Mixed Signals)
Ok finally got the nerve to give another shot at asking the new girl if she wanted to see a movie Tuesday after her shift. She declined the first time cuz she was afraid her so called boyfriend would find out and flip out on her. This time she didnt decline but suggested maybe this Thursday or Friday. W00t on possibly going out with her. Now here is where signals gets mixed. She seems intrested in going out but then she asks me if I ever talk to one of the other girls. I respond with sure. She suggest I ask her to see the movie on Tuesday. She spent most of work gravitating towards me and finding reasons to go talk to me. I finally get her to give me her number at first she gives me her Cell but asks for it back in exchange for her home number. She's worried someone else will pick it up and find out that I've been calling. I ask who..she's you know them...(with a tone of disdain). She asks for mine back. I'm really confused now. |
| Monday, January 15th, 2007 |
| 2:10 pm |
Thief in the Night
Last Night at work on the midnight shift. I was covering my cowokers til while she went off for a coffee break. There was a guy with dirty blonde hair, a baseball cap, black jacket, blue jeans. Walking towards the entrance near the cosmetic section. By his behaviour and how he carried himself we knew he was planning to shoplift something. The Guard Peter took his sweetass time to go and watch the guy. The shoplifter made his way into the store and loitered a bit near the cosmetics section. He knew he was being watched and he tried to keep the fascade of being a regular customer. Walked passed the guard, saying hey man. I had a feeling he would try to steal something from the photolab and I was right he did try as he headed around to the lab near all our cameras and electronics. I was watching him like a hawk and he knew he wouldnt be able to so he walked towards the food aisle. Thats where we couldnt follow. The man who wasnt really shopping for anything wandered back and fourth between the Three sections hoping that we would drop our attention on him. My coworker came back from the bathroom. I warned her about the guy and went for my break. One of the other customers warned me, I smiled and nodded yeah I know. I was a little worried about they guy still and went to the front to see if the guy had left yet but as I approached the counter I notice he was walking towards the exit with two boxes. I said hey excuse me! The cosmetician called out to the guard to grab him. He hesitated and I was tempted to grab him myself and left it to the guard to chase. The shoplifter booked it and was already at the mall exit door. I decided to chase after hoping maybe with the two of us we could cut him off. Yeah I know its dangerous and I probably shouldnt have done that but I wasnt thinking, I just went by instinct. I ran out and saw that the thief and the guard where already across the street. I figured i better not leave the premises and I wasnt gonna risk running across the busy street. I havta say i felt a little burned on this knowing that this could have been prevented. Knowing that he was so blantantly and so obvious with his plans that it was almost like he had a billboard saying hey look im gonna rob you blind. Ah well it will be interesting to see what my boss will ask me about the incident today. I hope i dont get into any shit. |
| Friday, December 15th, 2006 |
| 7:49 pm |
A Tree Came Down the Mountain to Visit
What a hell of a wind storm last night. The power is out at my place and a large tree is uprooted from out of nowhere and landed in my back yard, taking out some power and cable lines. Its pitch black here and I cant see my hand. I'm at a coffee shop now, recharging my laptop. Worked today I was hoping there our stores power would be out and that i'd get to go home but no such luck on my part. However the new girl was working today she seemed a bit panicked about the black out and going home where there was no power. I accompanied her to the library when she asked. I even offered to take her to a movie but she declined. Declined cuz she's afraid of her boyfriend whom she's not speaking to and arguing with and not quiet sure where she's stands about there relationship bf. Ah well cest la vie. I had a sense she did want my comapny though and that she was just afraid of getting caught. It was interesting however that at first she addressed her bf as her "friend" that she wasnt speaking to cuz of some fight. Now I understand why my supervisor said that they should set me up with this new girl becuz I think they where hoping i'd be the knight in shining armor to save her from this tranpsrently abusive and controlling relationship. I'm not gonna press the issue though and see if she warms up to the idea of me being in her company. I think our coworkers noticed us leaving together, yeah im sure either of us are gonna be asked questions lol. |
| Thursday, December 14th, 2006 |
| 11:36 pm |
Cute New Girl
On the upside of the night before all that bad stuff started our supervisor working that shift asked what I thought of the new girl and whether I thought she was quiet beautiful. I agreed and she said we got to do something about setting you two up. The comment took me a by surprise not that I would complain to being setup. Very cute asian girl, dyed hair, extremely long lashes, petite has this asian christina aquilera kinda look to her. I'm curious as however is to why mention setting me up with this particular girl when there are others. Before this one customer told her how attractive she looked, another came to me saying surrounded by beautiful girls, I guess its one of the perks of working here. She's a bit popular among the male customers im noticing. |
| 10:53 pm |
Down with the Sickness
Ok I just had a very scary episode at work last night. I was on cash and I started to feel very fatigued then after coming back from my 15 minute break I started to notice that it was very hot in the store. I ask my coworker if she thought it was hot and she said no, your face is looking a little reddish and your sweating. It progressed to trembling through the body, loss of equilberium, weakness, faintness, delerium, and crying, uncontrollable crying. I felt really agitated. I snapped at a old chinese lady who was asking for a fido phone card, I told them we had them on the wall and she had to get them herself. When she said no I snapped and said WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO!!! you know me I would never respond like this but I had this uncontrollable outburst. Around eight my other coworker the cosmetician was asking how i was and I said i wasnt feeling all to well, suddently i was shaking and crying..I couldnt stop. She took me back into the stock room where I was collapsing in a feeble ball sobbing. My body just not responding like i wanted to. One of the pharmacists drove me home around nine. This is really scary for me. |
| Friday, November 17th, 2006 |
| 1:53 am |
Something in the water
The water seems to be muddy today and the lights at shoppers keep blinking on and off. There was an altercation between two of the customers today. A man began to verbally assault another older women when he believed she was butting into line when she was merely putting her stuff down on the counter(not mine) She moved onto one of that other cashiers, and the man began swearing to her and the feelings reciprocated. It almost turned ugly when the man went over and raised his hand to hit her. I managed to stop him verbally and the other cashier called the security guard to deal this fellow. I really dont know whats up something must be in the water cuz I think thats a little bit extreme for such a minor thing |
| Saturday, November 11th, 2006 |
| 7:29 am |
Sweet
Ok I got in crap recently for skipping work downtown but I had too because I had been scheduled at shoppers on the same day. I felt really bad about that too. On the upside this week I got a raise from shoppers lol. |
| Monday, October 30th, 2006 |
| 6:10 am |
Idiots
Yesterday was a day of being surrounded and dealing with idiots at shoppers. Right out of the starting gate before I have a chance to settle down and get my bearings. I'm bombarded with helping other cowowkers solving their problems while dealing with my own. My first problem was when a snarky gay man from Kits wanted to know why the skeleton decoration didnt have a reduced price and some of the other halloween stuff was. I told him I really dont know, let me find out. The supervisor in charge at the moment was standing only a few feet from me. I turn to ask if she could help me out with their questions and she ignores me. Who else do I call I ask for help from? I just got there so i dont know whos available to help out. The girl on cash i'm working with is new and useless. Finally I call the only other authority figure there but she was busy in cosmetics helping other customers. While all this is occuring my line is building up. I need to move on to the next customer. The man becomes snarky saying how unhelpful I am, how we are ignoring them, how he hates the neighbourhood, the mall and the store. That he prefer being in Kits. (What a snob) Finally help comes from cosmetics and they give the man his discount. I wish they didnt I'm sorry but I really hate people like this. Customers who use bitching to get what they want just to further their sense of ego. You know the people who send their orders back in restaurants for the most miniscule things not because there was something seriously wrong with the meal but because they can. People who like to abuse customer service. Second problem customer was a man who came to the counter with a bottle of listerine mouthwash. A man who obviously isnt gonna be using this bottle to achieve a fresh breath. I tell the man that i'm sorry but I cannot allow you to purchase this. He chooses to ignore me and pull out his wallet. I draw his attention again this time pulling the bottle away from the counter. Sir, you have to listen to me. I'm not gonna sell you this bottle. The man gets mad with me of course. He threatens me, he tells me to kiss his ass and that he'll be waiting for me outside when i'm done. (well thats just fine with me but he'll be waitign for a long while since i dont get off work till midnight lol) I wanted to be a smart ass and say i'm sorry your not my type and sweet talks not gonna convince me to let you buy this. I was really hoping he'd make a swing at me. I cant touch the customers but if he took a swing at me or something its self defense and fair game. Third problem customer was the high as a kite incoherent lady. I dont know what was going on but my cocashier was busy dealing with this lady for fifteen mins trying to answer her questions. She's unable to move onto the next customer so i'm left dealing with everyone else on my own. Finally the lady comes to pay for her stuff on my till standing there with a vacant confused expression on her face trying to decide on whether she is getting something else. She finally picks up a chocolate bar. When I ring the bar up it comes up to about a dollar something. She disputes the cost telling me its 99cents. Which was fine but i'm gonna have to get a merchandizer to check the price for me. Of course the merchandizers take forever to come over to help and I really dont like asking them to check on something only a few feet from me but of course im not allowed to leave my til. Without looking I already know that the 99 cent price was probably a buy 3 for 99cent deal. My suspicions where confirmed. I explain this simple fact but the lady stands there with a vacant confused expression. The line is building again. I'm begining to lose patience and I can see the other customers are feeling the same. Maam do you want the chocolate bar? are you gonna get one bar? no bars? three bars? Finally she gets her act together. Three items should not have taken that long but it did. Fourth problem customer. I have this lady ready to purchase fifty dollars worth so she could get the 10 dollar coupon that everyone gets that day. A crap load of stuff to ring up. She finally tells me that she is uncertain whether she has an money on her debit card. She didnt. Three times I swipe the card with the same result. Card declined. Now i've got to void out all the items she doesnt want. She leaves without her stuff. Next customer wasnt a problem until later. The previous customer mention came back to pick up her stuff. While the customer at the time herself had an ample supply of bags for her to take with her. She comes back later telling me that she was missing items. I'm not sure what happen to her stuff. I call the supervisor to help her. No not the one who ignored me earlier. Thank goodness. so many other problems i'm not even sure in which order they occur. One lady spends 300 dollars worth. She has no clue about the coupons. i'm nice enough to give her the coupon but she realizes that she prolly should have gotten more coupons out of it. I'm forced to void everything out and restart the transaction again because I have to ring every fifty dollar transacton seperately. So time consuming but I get through it only to find that we've ran out. Call the supervisor to get more. It took awhile but problem solved. Next we have someone who I assume is mentally challenged by his dialog with me, hard to tell though. He's trying to strike a conversation about how proud he is for accumulating all the points he's got on his shoppers card and that he's been using it to get stuff for is girlfriend. Gotta treat my girl right he tells me proudly. Either he's a cheap idiot loser or he's mentally challenged. I can forgive the later. So many other idiots that i'm too tired to talk about. With them and having to deal with my inexperienced cocashier's problems and questions. I was surprised I manage to stay curteous to everyone. DAMN! |
| Friday, October 27th, 2006 |
| 5:15 am |
Road to a cure
For years I have been hiding a conditioned that i have been a bit insecure about. For years my arms and legss have been covered with tiny little goosebumps that will not go away. I also used to have a really a slight red rash along my face which went away. My family doctor said it would be something that would go away which it never did. I have been plagued with this problem since childhood not knowing what the hell was wrong with me. I finally found at least what the condition is called Keratosis Pilaris. Hopefully i can find a good treatment and finally cure myself. |
| Sunday, October 22nd, 2006 |
| 7:19 pm |
Lost Cellphone
Damnit I lost my cellphone, Again!! I'm really upset and panicked here. If anyone has recieved a call from my cell or if anyones tried to call any of you who are on my contact list. Let me know. |
| Sunday, October 15th, 2006 |
| 8:40 am |
new computer
I got my old computer back but with that incident I decided to go shopping for a laptop I didnt intend to spend over 800 but I did and I picked up a nice laptop, printer, thumbdrive and carrying case for a little over 1000. This is my secret computer no one can take away and an early bday present to myself. Thats about three or four paycheques gone but I guess its worth it in the long run. |
| Friday, September 29th, 2006 |
| 10:59 am |
Bling Bling
Won 30 dollars on the 649 and 5ve dollars last week, except last week was a 10 dollar ticket so that wasnt really a win. I think i'm getting oppossed with winning the jackpot now. Thats how horrible my life is now. When my only hopes of happiness is materialism and capitalism. Feeling spirtually dead. |
| Thursday, September 14th, 2006 |
| 3:47 pm |
Damnit
Ok so my brother took my computer the day after my grandpa's funeral. So i'm computerless and feel isolated from the world now. I won 10.00 dollars on the lottery today. I got 10,000 from my Grandma, I think its from my Grandpa's will or something not really sure. My dad is holding it for me. I sorta want the money myself but I guess this is ok. Less arguing over money and what i'd do with it. Well hopefully i can get back online again to give everyone an update with whats going on. I hope to see you all again since i'm not gonna see you much online at the moment. Ok thats all ciao |
| Saturday, September 2nd, 2006 |
| 10:50 am |
Jesus Sitting on my right side and God sitting at my left
Last night I was asked to work a bit later then scheduled at shoppers. So I stayed because it was hectic and everyone was stressed out with the number of people and dealing with this promotion they where having. I finally got to leave work around 10pm and when I got to main street chinatown a women asked me to move from where I was sitting. I asked her why. She said that I was sitting on Jesus. I smiled and I said is that so, she pleaded ot me again. I got up and said is he still sitting there. Can I sit here, pointing to the other part of the bench. She said God is sitting there but you can sit there and so I did. Finally the bus came and I had a drunk Newcastle Soccer Fan gibbering nonsense and falling all over me. I got home had my dinner and was working on my computer when we got a call. My grandma called to tell us that my Grandfather had to be taken to the hospital. My dad and I drove over there and he was lying on the floor half naked. I really dont know what went on but the ambulance drove him over to burnaby hospital. My grandfather was foaming a little at the mouth and was a bit incoherent but he was at least breathing. I thought he would make it but this morning I found out that he passed away. I went to work this morning/covering for someone. My supervisor sent me back home. I'm in total shock now and I really dont know how to feel or deal with this. Current Mood:  gloomy |
| Thursday, August 31st, 2006 |
| 11:30 pm |
Arms feel like Jello
So I spent my day helping my friend Naiad_Muse with moving her furniture and stuff from her apartment before her move. I really need to work out more cuz after all that my arms feel like jello and telling me they are on strike for putting them through that lol. It was nice hanging out with her. Its our first time really hanging out together since we talk primarily on the internet. She showed me a place called sweet cherubim. I had a raspberry banana smoothie with apple juice and a feta cheese, spinach samosa there. She also introduced to me something called a pakaras, it was a delicious spicy little snack. She has a friend(girl) who is also a gamer so hopefully i've found myself a new player or at least another new friend = p I also a friend of Sabbatguys down in the neighbourhood. It was good seeing her totally forgot what her name was again but I got it this time on my cell with her number. So I can remember it and not totally be insulting by not knowing. anyways it was a decent but tiring day. |
| Tuesday, August 29th, 2006 |
| 11:58 pm |
You scratch my back and i'll scratch yours with a rusty knife.
Alright so I've ran my first game of Mage and I wish I could it went smoothly but it didnt. I got very nervous and got into cerebral think mode and was antisocial the whole night being forlorn about all the stress I was having. In the end I finally got it done and it wasnt so bad so I'm a little more psyched now and I think I could do alot better. Sunday I was working at Shopper's and I got a little injury. What happened was I bending down to pick up a pack of smokes for a customer near the drawer where we keep our spare lotto tickets and transit and one of my coworkers opened the drawer just as I was rising and the corner of it scraped against my backside around the kidney's. Took some skin and left and nice gash about four inches long. Prolly sounds worse here then it is. A flesh wound. Monday I was off and was hoping to watch a horror movie like Pulse and the Paramount but they werent showing it and I ended up watching Beerfest. I wouldnt recommend that movie for the theater. Possibly rental with lots and lots and lots of beer though. Today I worked they forgot about my last 15 min break one of the supervisors made it sound like it was my fault that I didnt remind them or didnt take it when I should have. Maybe next time when we are swamped with customers maybe I should just walk out on her and go oh i'm on my break now. See you later. I thought I was off but i was actually signed off 15mins too early so I took that 15mins til i was actually off. Still I didnt like that additude. Also I snapped back at an older customer who I had served. I was trying to give him his change and was all curmudgeony as he tapped the counter signifying for me to put it down. I was like ok fine then he started to bitch at me for putting the change down because he had trouble pickin up the change. That I made it difficult and that I wasnt doing my job. I was like look here I was trying to give your change so you wouldnt have to do dhat and you tapped the counter like this so dont get on me k. He totally backtracked after that with excuses and explanations. I also had this slightly older gentleman I would say his 40's 50's pushing me back with his hand to let a younger lady onto the bus. I can understand he was showing chivalry. However at the same time I was actually trying to get my farecard out of my wallet and just happened to be standing in front as the bus as it was coming to a stop. I was gonna let people on first regardless. I was really insulted by his cavalier additude, the fact that he presumed that I wasnt a gentleman and made me appear that way in the crowd especially what he said to me in front of the crowd. The fact that he laid hands on me really erked me as well. It shows no class and he is a total poser. This whole day has been me being pissed at people. I'll be polite but I aint taking bullshit when its uncalled for. I've also had old ladies tell me I was really nice and polite so I know it isnt me thats being the asshole. |
| Monday, August 14th, 2006 |
| 12:09 pm |
I'm upset
Ok I know its just a cheap plastic ring but I lost my Green Lantern ring, its really upsetting since its irreplaceable and I really liked it. =- ( |
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